Things I have been doing lately...

Things I have been doing lately...

I haven't been able to do my art like I wanted to but I did get a few NEW things done lately.

Rearranged my Studio

 Put some pictures up on the wall again...the even better thing..they were MY own!!

Bikini Babe Inking for client

Femme Face 1 inking for a client

Then on Thursday is the Art Crazy Art Show! I just purchased my tickets today (I decided to go to both shows by myself)

http://art-a-day-keeps-the-crazies-away.blogspot.com/2012/04/getting-ready-for-show.html

Now to decide what to wear!

Since I moved my desk upstairs I think it will help me as well. The ex used to have his art table near his computer and since that worked for him, I thought I would try it. So far so good. Next big purchase I need though is a 12x18 flatbed scanner...or something close to that. I hate having to take my pictures to Kinkos, scan them, put them on a drive them take them home...sigh. So irritating.

But it might be worthy soon...because (drum roll please)...it looks like I will be accepted to be at Ankeny Unplugged to have a booth for Every Saturday in June!!

www.ankenyunplugged.com

So I will need to be making prints anyway to sell and I can't make prints at home so who knows.


I want to get back to a sketch a day and my goal of 50 Faces and 50 Figures so maybe this will help. Plus I have been really out of touch with my SOAR journal and need to do that. I am still blown away at my Art abilities lately and this wonderful gift of talent I have been able to grow into. Thanks for all my encouragers...you know who you are.

SOAR-Worry

Funny how the longer I do SOAR the less I put in my book and the more Anita does SOAR the smaller her assignments are!

Let Go of Worry

My Ex husband Scott used to always say this...

Then the stuff I was doing this week that I wanted to put in my Art Journal...

As you know I am a Part of the Goddess Circle and one of the things I am participating in 30 Days of Goddess. One of the assignments was to color a Mandala. So here's the funny thing that happened when I was coloring this. I couldn't stop thinking about my friend KSM from Normal is a Setting on a Dryer. I remember how much she loved Mandalas. I remember how she had one in her purse when she was talking to this business person. Isn't it funny how certain things about people just stick out in our minds? So weird.

 When I was coloring the mandala I just let my mind go. I just picked up pens and started coloring. The fun thing is how I love to color. I always have. So for me, this was a fun exercise.  I started mostly on the outside and worked my way in. I started seeing it come to life little by little. I started seeing how one color could complements the other. I don't know why I picked these colors. They were part bold, part calming.
I did notice how in the middle and on the ends I have yellow. Funny. Because to me Yellow represents Sunshine. Shining. Brightness. Light.

 What do I think hat means? Well, to me, if I were to read into this I would say I see the light at the end of the storm. I Shine. I was meant to Shine. I was born to Shine. I will Shine again. I am starting to Shine again. And DAMN it feels good! There is light in the center of me...at my core...deep inside. Those who know me know this.The Yellow in the middle represents the light shining inside me. The Yellow at the end represents the light I send out. I Shine and thus when something shines it doesn't just shine in one direction. It shines in many directions. The Yellow at the end is me Shining outward.

The other colors I am not sure but here is what I found:
Aqua is the color of high ideals.
Violet is the color of purpose
Brown provides a warm, comfortable feeling of wholesomeness, naturalness and dependability
Orange is a power color and said stimulates enthusiasm and creativity. Orange means vitality with endurance. People who like orange are usually thoughtful and sincere.

The prominent color in the Mandala is Pink and Green.
Pink provides feelings of caring, tenderness, self-worth and love, acceptance.
Green is the color showing change or growth
(Color meanings from Crystal Cure )

Then I moved onto the Hell Yes Hell No that I have mad a vision Board for but I wanted to put this in my Art Journal and I had not done that yet.

Blissbombed-Hell No Hell Yes

 This is more in the part of Project Trisha

 I am now doing the Paleo Solution and it is going amazingly well. I still suffer from wanting carbs and sugar and I know if Robb Wolf were in front of me he would scold me for keeping those in my diet but I guess I am just not ready to give those up yet, if ever.

I am doing so well though. I got this kewl thing called a Bobble. I fill it with water and it has a filter in it. I only have to change the filter once a month. It is kind of like having a Britta purifying system with me all the time. I drink way more water now. I have this small pink one. I should have bought the bigger one, but this one works for now.

I eat Sushi often for lunch. I eat fish mostly for dinner. Salmon, Tilpia, etc. As I said I am still filling my dies with things like Mac and Cheese, but at least it was my homemade kind, not some store-bought crud. I eat lots of protein as well and many veggies.

That along with my Body Sculpting-Jazzercise Class I go to twice a week, let me tell you, I am not only going to be fit, but I am going to have one rockin body! I Burn up to 600 calories in one fun and powerfully effective 60-minute total body workout. I work my whole body and it kicks my butt. I do this every Tuesday and every Thursday.

This leads into my Self Love part of my journal. I have been working on Self Love a lot in the past few weeks and accepting that it doesn't matter if anyone else likes me, loves me or pays attention to me. All that matters is if I do. I have been doing a Self Love series with a few of my life coaches and I made Collage boards you saw before. Three of them have self love quotes I read every day.

But this one I saw in the 30 Days of Goddess I first laughed and then thought, ok. The concept is when in the shower or bath to literally tell yourself that you love yourself. To say to yourself "I love my arms" while washing yours arms, "I love my legs" when washing your legs and so on. Let me tell you something...when I do this I giggle like crazy. Yes, I think it is silly, but the first time I did exactly as she said and I felt a bit better. A few times after that, I started saying "You know I have a really nice set of gams!", "You know, my breasts are amazing for a 41 year old!" "My ass is divine!" and though I still giggle and laugh, I feel more and more amazing! Try it, you might surprise yourself.

So that is it for my SOAR stuff and Art Journaling for now.  Don't forget to Stretch Out And Risk. If you still want to join SOAR it's not too late  JOIN HERE

Oh and if you want to know more about Social Media Anita gave me a group to moderate called Just Be Social and if you have ANY Social Media questions or concerns you can join that group called
Just Be Social-How to Be Social in a Social Media World JOIN HERE

Both are free, though Donations are gladly accepted :)

SOAR Update to Week 8

I realized I hadn't posted much of my SOAR stuff so I thought I would update you with some pics...

Change

The top one is "Fuzzy Boundaries" and the bottom on is "Rigid Boundaries"

This is the front on my journal is I never showed anyone

Get FIT

Project Trisha- Healthy Map

 Two of the things I like to add to my SOAR is What I Trust and What I Know... IT actually took me awhile to write these out cuz I am kinda grey about both of those right now, but I still was able to write some things down. There are other things I would like to put down, but I don't feel solid enough to state those in Trust or Know yet...more like Things I think... :)

Here are my pages from the Previous weeks

A Phrase a good friend used to say to me from his Nana

One of my What I Trust What I know Sheets

Bad Ass Broad Page

You deserve to live the best Kick Ass Life

21 Kick Ass Tips & Tools

Stop trying to be perfect

Hate Less Love More

Lesson 6 Transforming

Words from my friend Rita to help me through

Resistance Formula

Courage Notes

It takes Courage to Live

SOAR Week 5

Here is the lesson stuff for Week 5

My words: Don't Believe Everything You Think

Pieces from lesson

Stretch Out And Risk SOAR

Unraveling grief sketch

Realize you have been hit by an Emotional Truck

Unravel Grief

Self Talk

No More Mean Negative Self Talk

My little notes to my self

Change

Not alot to say about this week. So much has happened and people have told me so many things I kinda feel numb. I wanted to do the lesson but this one was one of those weeks I was like "Meh..."

The biggest things to me was CHANGE. I see and know and realize how very much I am changing. Frustrating though that others see the change in me but don't have faith, belief or trust that I will stay that way. In a way I at firt was upset when I read past emails and things saying that I will change in two years and will I be there same?? Will, I sure hope NOT!! I hope I will be better, stronger, different. ASking me to stay the same is lame. No thank you. You should WANT me to change. I want YOU to change. Not for me, but hey uh hi there...that is called "Growth" ya know?

Anyway, Anita says they all won't be wonderful and learning and passionate so I don't feel so bad. But I did do my homework like a good girl

SOAR with Me for Week 4-Healing through Journaling

SOAR Week 4 Work...

Just my luck Week four is about...Love. BLECH.

I am sorry I don't mean to be a downer to those who Love love rigt now and can't wait until Feb 14th and want to shower their honey with affection and tenderness. Yeah I want to do that too. Instead, I will be alone...he will be with HER, take her out, buy her flowers, give her a gift, probably make love to her, and bond even more...I want to shoot something right now badly. UGH! I want to vomit from it all. Seriously. Valentine's day is going to royally suck this year. No one is going to show up on my door, no one is going to be there giving me flowers, no one is going to be holding me, no one is going to be loving me tenderly, no one wants me.

Thoughts of high school days and the mere loneliness of it all comes back to haunt my thoughts now. Asking guys to dances, dates, prom and never having anyone to share those special moments with. When I met S, my 2nd husband, I asked "What do you want most in a relationship?" He said "Someone to share my life with. Do things with. Enjoy life with." I thought J wanted the same. Well, he does, I guess...just not with me. I am not good enough for him. That hurts most of all. The not being wanted by someone. After 4 years...I am nothing...she is now his everything. My heart hurts thinking about it, so I really do try not to.

But still this assignment was Love, so I made the best of it I could. There is more in here about Broken Hearts and Broken Love than anything else, but to me THIS is how LOVE is affecting me right now. Deep down I know my heart will heal. But right now, I want to rip it out of my chest cuz it hurts so much and all I can do is pray unceasingly..."Please Dear Lord, Please bring Peace to My heart. Please help me get THROUGH this."

Yes I said THROUGH. Because I know that is the only way to heal. There is no going around pain and heartache. We must pass through our trials. After our trials comes a blessing of our faith. I will get there. Just not yet. Not yet. But God and me and this thing called Love will get there...one day.

 EXCERPT from the SOAR course

When we love someone or something, it always moves us toward something, or someone. When we love someone, we want to be near that person. We want to be near his or her touch.The movement of fear is always away from someone or something. If I am afraid I back away. I want to get away from the object of my fear. If I am afraid of confrontation, I will back away from the person involved and avoid any possible conflict with him or her. Another important aspect to understand about the three basic emotions is how they are related to self-control. The emotions of anger and fear are reactions to threatening situations or people. Love is the emotion of self-control; for when love is our response, we are able to act, not react, to life.The overwhelmed woman--perhaps she is friendly and caring, always taking the time to listen to her friend’s problems, but lately she finds herself drained by the experience.Someone who is an expert at controlling her emotions might have a spotless house. Underneath though, lies a sea of questions and self-doubt…she wonders if she can do anything right, she is never satisfied. Another way to look at these two basic attempts to retain control of our lives is to image driving a special car. Only we know how to drive it. As we travel down the highway, we suddenly feel overwhelmed, so we decide to put the car into cruise control and jump into the backseat. But nothing can be done if you’re sitting in the backseat

 I pasted some of the quotes from Anita's SOAR work for the week...

 I put this whole sheet down with a quote from Leo Buscaglia

Prepped my pages for Weeks 4-Love

 My Love Story: I haven't had the end of my love story yet. My perfect love story is still out there waiting for me.

Love Cometh after the Rain~ Mary Englebreit.
The Way to Know LIFE is to LOVE many things.
A little poncho I made that says "Sweet girl"

"Don't be afraid to fall in love. It's the only thing that matters in life. Fall in Love with as many things possible."~ Country Strong

When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill, and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be taken away. It grows from your ability to re-create within yourself, the essence of loving experiences you have had in your life.”
― Iyanla Vanzant

Without You 

Is the Abscene 

of 

Love

“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them"

**God is closest to those with broken hearts.    Jewish Saying

The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.    Gwyneth

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken

than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.   Author Unknown

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when

your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back

together." - Author Unknown

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to

fix than broken hearts.  Author Unknown

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things

we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live

without but have to let go.   Author Unknown

 

What is not an expression of love is an expression of fear. Withholding love for any reason is a sign that we are crying out in fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear that our love will not be reciprocated. When you find yourself backing up, pulling back, withdrawing from another person, ask yourself, “Why am I withholding my love?” What you are likely to discover is that there is a hidden fear forcing you to do something you would not like to have done to you. ~The Over Analyst

Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the

stars.   Violet Para

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. 

Anonymous

They say that if you love someone you should let them go, but they never

say what to do when they don’t come back.    Anonymous

The flame of love is now just a cold loneliness.       Unlike Swain

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you

never knew.      Anonymous

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself

constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night.  I

miss you like hell.      Edna St. Vincent Millay

[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold:  The heart is the only

broken instrument that works.   T.E. Kalem

What is the opposite of two?  A lonely me, a lonely you.  Richard Wilbur

Look’ how badly I made this broken heart

If your heart is broken

Tell me I'll mend it for you

But if my heart is broken

I doubt i will ever be a mended one

Because you've broken it to the tiniest pieces

I don't even know if all parts are present

I guess one parcel of myself is not here

I think it's gone with you...

Love isn't love til you give it away...

“Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”—Honore de
Balzac

"When we think we have been hurt by someone in the past, we build up defenses to protect

ourselves from being hurt in the future. So the fearful past causes a fearful future and the past
and future become one. We cannot love when we feel fear.... When we release the fearful past
and forgive everyone, we will experience total love and oneness with all." -Jampolsky

 I added some other pictures and quotes to the left side of my journal.
Authenticity by Brene Brown
You Are Beautiful: That is the Truth by Brave Girls Club

 A Brave Girl Truth Card I made last year and an image for Despair I have had in front of me. I decided to put it in the book.

 TC says: Change is necessary, Be willing to walk away. It is time to let this go.

 The top image is my current desktop on my computer. So I look at it every single day...Despair.
The image below of the girl holding her face in her hands is the image that is my FB profile picture right now.

 My Despair closes over my head

Swallowing my soul

I am drowning in it, not wallowing

My lungs burning as I try as I might

To keep my spirits afloat

I struggle, I strive, I fight to survive

But in the end,

My Black Despair wins.

 Post it notes I shared on my other post.

 Country Strong quotes

 My smile does not always mean I'm happy

Sometimes it means

I can manage

sometimes it is just me

I'm tired of crying

People cry, not because they are weak

It's because they have been strong for too long.

SOAR Truth Card and some magic cards that symbolize SOARING to me.

 Dear Trisha, 
You will be whole again. You will fly again. You will SOAR higher than you ever have soared.

 Then I took Rita's examples and since I truly feel like I don't know one day from the next, this is a good exercise for me to write down what happens day to day. When I sent or received an email, when I got dressed or didnt, when I cried, when I didn't get up, to when I had a migraine or stomach sickyness. This has been very helpful for me right now.

To the right, a few quotes:

Sometimes when you fall down, you just have to lie still, and hope no one runs over you. If they don't and you lay there long enough, taking care to be very still...God will life you up and perform a soul surgery"~Peace from Broken Pieces

One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through realizing that you cannot force others to see that what you feel is real.” ― Iyanla Vanzant

the last quote reminds me...

It is ok if you find yourself alone. It will be ok. You will be ok. You really are not alone...you are never alone.

 I saw this quote on Pinterest and had to save it and print it for my book.

Add caption

 This idea to make these came from White Hot Truth and he post "What I trust"
I decided to make a document for me to write out what I trust as a way of healing. I have a lot of unanswered questions and I don't understand things in my life right now. I was thinking I don't know what I do or DON'T trust right now. But putting it down on paper really helped me see and I feel will help me bridge the gap on the path of healing. It might be I trust my breath to I trust my friends, but it's all good.

If you are interested in receiving these sheets click here to print out your copy and write down what YOU trust. WHAT I TRUST PDF
Break Up Quotes CLICK HERE
Love Quotes CLICK HERE