Monday, January 23, 2012

Born a Survivor...Been a Survivor..Be a Survivor

I have been through a lot lately. I have been through a lot my whole life. I thought it was just when I was younger, but come to find out it was since I was born. I was frustrated and so I started cleaning out the basement again of my things. I felt like my mother...give this away, give that away, throw this away throw that away...and then my last box I came upon some letters. Letters from family and friends and a pack of letters my mother sent me one for every day of the week.  I found some old pictures of me to go with it even. I used a baby picture of me at 4 months old and the other picture is me at my first Jaycees Convention. I decided to cut one up and use it in my SOAR journal and share a bit about it with you...

My mother had been taking chemo and radiation in 1969 and was told after 3 years from the birth of my sister that she would never get pregnant again. I almost was aborted because of the potential dangers. They went through with it after praying about it. Once I was born I was tested for mental defects and could have been born without limbs so she says in the letter (On a bad day count your fingers and toes and give thanks)

 She says "Now God had a plan for your life from the beginning. God did not bring into this world under Ordinary circumstances and your life has never been nor will ever be Ordinary.No matter how hard you TRY to be Ordinary you never will be. God will send Extraordinary people to take you where you want to go. Your life is destined to be Extraordinary. Anyone who does not see the AWESOME person youa re Patricia, youhave to know they are not being honest with you or themself. People can only be who they are. Love them, but not more than you."

You have always been a survivor
 She goes onto say "You will always be a Survivor, because God planted that seed in you before you were born. You survived a pregnancy that should not have ever survived.Your first trip down the farm house was the basement steps 6 months into the pregnancy. Yet you survived. You may not have been born because of Chemo in me. Yet you survived. You have survived since before you were born, after you were born and you have survived ever since. You survived falling on the only patch of basement on 80 acres of farmland with nothing but mere stitches. You survived having a rake fall on your head and cut your skull wide open, surviving with no permanent damage and coming out of it unscathed. The doctor has said you were a miracle since the day you were born. You just keep surviving.  You survived being molested, rape, beaten, abused a death of your father at 10 yeas of age, continuous pains and heartaches, on going losses of many things in your life, yet through it all...

You Survive.

You Will Always Be a Survivor.

"What you are here to teach and to learn may never catch up with you, but for sure, you will gain a new power to control your destiny. That Destiny is greater than anything you can ever imagine. Always surround yourself with people who Beleiv in You..the Wonderful, Caring, Loving person you are."

Love Mom,
April 7th, 2009